


Impact

by reaperlove



Series: Beesus [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angel Misha, Angel Wings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Dean, Castiel-centric, Fire, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Plane Crash, Referenced Suicide Attempt, Rough Sex, Top Castiel, spn-originality-big-bang, the church of Beesus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:10:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6429436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlove/pseuds/reaperlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flickering, orange lights and the smell of burned plastic and kerosene started to invade Castiel's  senses. He was unable to move, slowly becoming aware of a dull pain radiating from his left arm and his face. He could hardly breathe, thick smoke settled into his lungs like concrete.</p><p>Around him the world went up in flames and his last thoughts were with Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impact

**Author's Note:**

> I've watched each and every episode of Mayday- Air Disaster Investigation and somehow fluff and crack turned into angst and hurt with a happy ending.
> 
>  **Trigger Warning for mentioned past suicide attempt (not graphic) and dub-con between Cas and Dean** , please read the tags and tell me if I've missed something, thank you :)
> 
>  [Angrysouffle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Angrysouffle/pseuds/Angrysouffle) made some wonderful art for this, she's really awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

Cas’s eyes slowly blinked open. A cloudless sky above him, nothing but stars. He felt hot, so hot, almost burning up, as if his skin was melting off his face. He moved a hand to his forehead to wipe away some of the sweat and cried out when his fingers touched blistered skin. A starry sky, there wasn’t supposed to be sky at all, there was supposed to be the ceiling of the DC10 that took him from Los Angeles to Santiago de Cali.

Flickering, orange lights and the smell of burned plastic and kerosene invaded his senses. He was unable to move, only slowly becoming aware of a dull pain radiating from his left arm and his face. He could hardly breathe, thick smoke settled into his lungs, like concrete.

Around him the world went up in flames.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

-16 hours before impact-

Dean was writhing beneath him, his legs slung around Castiel’s waist, moaning with every languid roll of Cas’s hips. It was the second time they were making love that morning, so everything was slow and lazy. They were kissing deeply and Cas could get drunk on the taste of _Dean_ , the way their tongues were sliding together, teeth nipping at his bottom lip. He was familiar with each touch, the fingernails digging in his back whenever he hit Dean’s sweet spot, and the way Dean’s breathing changed when he was close to coming. Cas had feared that this kind of intimacy could get boring, but for now, he was sure he could never get tired of the look in those impossibly green eyes and the man who was falling apart underneath him.

That thought hit him like a brick and he stopped moving. It was not like what they had was meant to be forever, he wasn’t even sure what they were to each other. Less than partners, more than fuck buddies?

“Cas, please, don’t stop,” Dean moaned. “I’m so close, babe.”

Dean’s cheeks were flushed and he was panting heavily, precome leaking out of his painfully hard erection. Cas frowned, but pulled out slightly, just to slam back into that tight, velvety channel. He picked up the pace and let his fingers curl around Dean’s neglected cock, stroking it in rhythm with his thrusts. It didn’t take long before he could feel Dean clenching around him and spurting white stripes of come on his belly.

“Fuck, that was amazing. Love you, babe.”

Dean was still bathing in the afterglow of a truly amazing orgasm, relaxed, eyes closed, so he didn’t see Cas’s scowl and was surprised when he was manhandled onto his stomach and Cas forcefully spread his legs.

"Woh, no need to get violent, man, what - ahh, fuck!”

Dean was cut off by Cas driving into him, forcefully, without any warning. Cas put one strong hand between Dean’s shoulder blades and pushed him down on the mattress, while relentlessly pounding into Dean’s already sore hole. All Dean could do was twist his fingers into the thin hotel sheets and relax as best as he could.

Cas draped himself over Dean, his front flush to Dean’s back, still jackhammering into that hot body, moving in a frenzy, just feeling his cock sliding in and out, sweat dripping from his forehead. It didn’t take long for him to come, hard, releasing himself inside of Dean, and when his orgasm hit him, he bit down into the freckled skin of Dean’s shoulder. Gone in the foggy haze of his ecstasy, he didn’t even register Dean’s cry of pain or the blood pooling around the mark he just left.

He only fully registered what he’d done when Dean threw him off and hurried out of the bedroom. He heard the bathroom door slamming shut and after a few seconds, the shower running. Shit, he really blew this big time.

Cas stumbled to his feet, gathered his strewn clothes and got dressed in a hurry.  He didn't want to face Dean that exposed. He'd just buttoned up his dress shirt when Dean stormed out of the bathroom, already in his grey Henley and boxers.

“Dean, I’m sorry, I don’t ...fuck I don’t know what came over me, I’m so-”

Dean silenced him with a curt wave of his hand, shaking his head and letting out a sad little laugh.

“Do you even know what you, fuck, you probably really don’t." He strode past him without looking up. "Just give me my pants.”

Cas picked up the crumpled jeans up from the floor and handed them to Dean . He put a hand on his shoulder, almost pleading.

“Dean, please, I didn't mean to, Let me expl-" He was startled and stopped when Dean immediately flinched away from his touch. His eyes were clouded with anger, the otherwise plush lips pressed together in a thin line of anger.

“Don’t touch me right now, I’m so fucking pissed! Wanna know what blew your fuses? I know exactly when you lost it. I said I love you.” Dean paled, his expression crumpling before reforming angrily. “Shit, this is so ridiculous. I said I love you and you had to fuck that feeling right out of me!”

Cas felt the color drain from his face, he somehow knew that Dean was right, he was so screwed up. Shame let him bow his head. He sat down on the edge of the bed and buried his face in his hands. But Dean wasn’t finished yet.

“And then you bit me! Marked me! What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You don’t want me anymore but everybody else’s gotta know what an impact you’ve had on my life, that you’ve had me? You crazy son of a bitch!”

He was looming above Cas who was now rocking back and forth and rubbing the thin scars on his wrists. All the anger left Dean at that sight and he squatted down on the floor at Cas’s feet. His voice was now calm and soothing, his shoulders slumped down.

“Hey, fuck, you know that I didn’t mean it like that. Cas, look at me, hey, come on, look at me.”

Cas raised his eyes, his whole body shaking, about to spiral back into the grasp of his darkest days. Dean gingerly held his head in his hands, calloused thumbs lovingly stroking over his tear streaked cheeks. When did he begin to cry?

He let Dean lay him down on the bed and cradle him close, all the whispering soothing nonsensicals into his ear.

“Shh, it’s okay babe, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”   

Cas slowly relaxed into Dean’s embrace and let exhaustion take him over into a dreamless sleep.

____________

He woke about two hours later, Dean’s arms still wrapped tightly around him. He felt worn out, empty and his head was pounding. Carefully, he slipped out of Dean’s embrace and shuffled into the bathroom. He rummaged around in his toilet bag until he found a small bottle of aspirin and took two of the pills with a sip of water from the tap. The man that was staring back at him in the mirror was pale, with dark bags under his eyes. He looked and felt like shit.

When he came back into the bedroom, Dean was already sitting on the edge of the bed, tying his shoes.

“You don’t have to leave, Dean.”

Dean looked up to him, a sad smile flashing across his face.

“You want me to stay, Cas, talk about what happened tonight?”

Cas shifted his weight uncomfortably, biting his lower lip.

“I want to, I really do, but I have to be at the airport in an hour.”

Dean got up and walked over to the chair where he left his leather jacket and shrugged into it.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, always getting your priorities straight. It’s okay, man, I didn’t expect anything else.”

He turned around to the door, one hand at the handle, his voice strained when he spoke again. Cas knew he was crying, but he made no move to stop him from leaving.

“You know I love you, Cas, but I can’t do this anymore. I never thought you would let me into your life easy, but you can’t even let me into your fucking apartment. It’s been two years, Cas, two years and I’m just fucking tired, man.”

Cas’s arm shot forward, as if to reach for the younger man, but he quickly reigned himself in and let his hands fall to his sides, fingers twitching nervously.

“I never promised you anything, you knew the rules when you agreed to this, uhm, _arrangement._ ”

He could see Dean’s shoulders drop at his last word and watched him open the door.

“Goodbye, Castiel.” Castiel's heart clenched at the defeat that was more than evident in his voice.

Dean walked outside without turning back. Cas stood with closed eyes, unable to move.

Maybe this was for the better, a clean cut. He should really be lucky that he wasn't the one to break this up. It was just suddenly so hard to breathe.

He packed his suitcase and took a taxi to the airport.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cas had managed to crawl away from the worst heat and found shelter under a tall tree and propped himself up against the trunk. He must have landed on a small hill, a little way away from the main crash site. He looked down to where the plane should be and what he found was a picture of pure carnage. Small pieces of debris were strewn everywhere, a fire was still raging in what was left of the fuselage. He could see the outlines of bodies, still strapped to their seats, burning in the flames that consumed the remains of the passenger cabin.

The closer he looked, the more obvious it became to him that it wasn't just pieces of the crashed plane littering the forest floors. He could clearly make out dismembered limbs, twisted torsos, a head with a green ribbon still holding together a red ponytail. Cas leaned over to the side and threw up.

He leaned his head back against the rough bark of the tree and closed his eyes. He had to pull himself together, look for the other survivors, maybe someone was trapped in the wreck and needed his help. He tried to stand up, but a sharp pain shot through his whole left side and he fought for air. Breathing was excruciatingly painful and he coughed up some blood.

“You shouldn't move, your broken ribs pierced your left lung and you're bleeding internally. And there are no survivors, everybody is dead, I'm afraid.”

Cas looked up to the man that had just addressed him. He seemed to be largely unscathed by the fire and approached him from the accident site. Because he was standing with his back to the flames, Cas couldn’t see his face, but his voice seemed to be familiar. His throat was sore from coughing and vomiting, talking was strenuous.

“Are you here with the first responders? What happened?”

“That’s a good question a lot of things happened for you to be here. A lot of people made a lot of tiny mistakes that made your pilot fly into the wrong canyon and crash into this mountain. Fate is a busy woman these days. And no, I’m not here with a rescue team, I’m sorry, Castiel, but nobody knows where you are right now.”

Cas stared at him blankly, the words slowly trickling in his consciousness.

“I don’t understand, have you been on the plane? Are you one of the pilots?”

The man took a step forward and the moonlight shone on his face. Cas tried to scramble backwards but the tree blocked his way. That was _his_ face, the man wore Cas’s features. The air suddenly smelled strongly of ozone and a blue shimmer surrounded his strange twin as he opened his mouth and his voice was like thunder.

“I’m not a pilot, my name is Misha and I’m an angel of the lord.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

-12 hours before impact-

Cas took a sip of his sugary coffee and grimaced, it was scalding hot and burned his tongue. He longed for something stronger than caffeine, like a bottle of tequila, tequila always made him forget. But they wouldn’t let him board the plane piss drunk and he only had two hours after the landing before the meeting with the Columbian insurance company that wanted him to design a new headquarter. It would be a big step forward for his company if he could land the deal, but if he was perfectly honest, he could have asked his copartner Gabriel to fly down to Cali, he most definitely had the better “people skills”. Or he could have asked Dean to come along, could’ve shown him the ocean, Dean had never seen the ocean.

He shook himself and suppressed the thought. No more Dean. He tried to focus on the papers he had laid out on his table of the business class waiting area. He shoved aside the basket of complimentary Cadbury cream eggs, they were disgusting and could probably be used as chemical weapons. Maybe he could ask for a slice of apple pie. Dean loved pie.

Cas groaned and massaged his temples, he could feel a major headache coming on. He had to banish Dean from his thoughts, once and for all, or at least for the endurance of this trip. No dwelling on his chiselled abs, the way his ever changing green eyes crinkled when he laughed, the one time they used WD 40 as lube because they couldn’t wait until they got inside and he’d fucked Dean’s brains out in the garage, bent over the hood of Dean’s beloved Impala….

“Excuse me, sir, are these seats taken?”

A whole different set of green eyes beamed down at him, they belonged to a tall, dark haired man, who waited patiently for his reply. He was accompanied by a red haired woman with fine, pale skin. She wore her red locks in a ponytail, held together by a dark green ribbon and she too smiled a genuinely wide smile. Maybe they could distract him from you-know-who.

Too late did he recognize the bibles they both carried, bibles with a stylized bee instead of a cross on the cover. They also wore bee pins on their shirts and just didn’t stop smiling. They must belong to this new doomsday cult that believed that the apocalypse was near because all the bees were dying and they prayed to Beesus for help.

And as if he had read his mind, the man handed him a Beesus saves! Brochure.

“Hello, my name is Michael and this is my wife, Anna.”

Anna nodded and shoved another pamphlet into his hands, Beelieve in Beesus! and Michael continued his obviously well prepared speech.

“We are missionaries for the Church of Beesus, praise be, on our way to spread His word! We want to convert as many people as possible to His ways, to build the world anew after the apocalypse. Beesus, praise be, will lead us to a better future where we will live in harmony with the birds and the bees. All praise Beesus, who doth pollinate the flowers and and blesses us with plentiful honey. Beesus, praise be, is the way and the light! Praise be!”

“Praise be!” echoed Anna and looked at Cas expectantly.

Cas was at a loss for words. He didn’t use the term “lunatic” lightly, not after he had spent almost 6 months in a mental institution, but these two were fucking grade A lunatics. He cleared his throat and tried to answer as politely as possible.

“Oh, yeah, that sounds very interesting, I will definitely read this, wow, seems to be a great guy, this Beesus.”

“Praise be!” answered the two in perfect unison. They still smiled their unsettling stepford smiles and Cas was desperately seeking a way out of this conversation. He was saved by the announcer calling their flight.

“Well, it’s been nice talking to you two, but I think our plane is ready for boarding.”

Anna stood up and patted him on the back with so much force, that he spit out the sip of coffee he’d just taken.

“No worries, sir, a generous church member donated two business class tickets, isn’t that wonderful?”

“Bet he would’ve donated a whole lot more to get you as far away as possible,” Cas mumbled under his breath. Anna didn’t seem to have heard him and just continued smiling.

“And we’re the only business class passengers, so we’ll have a lot of time to talk on the flight. Beesus, praise be, himself couldn’t have arranged it better!”

Cas excused himself to the bathroom and traded his ticket with a very happy elderly man at the urinal for his economy seat in the rear of the plane.

The machine was half empty, not many people liked to take these late flights, so he could spread out over the whole aisle and started to doze of once they were airborne. He awoke to a violently shaking plane and panicked screams. The turbulences and the steep rise proved to be too much for the integrity of the aircraft. The tail broke off and Cas was tossed into the night.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The freaking _angel_ had spread his dark wings and rain had started to pour, dowsing the remaining flames. Cas didn’t dare to take his eyes off of the beautiful black feathers. Something about them was so familiar.

“I, I know you! You looked different but those wings...I remember your wings! You were there when I, uhm, when I tried to..” Cas fell silent and absent mindedly rubbed his wrists again.

The angel, _Misha_ , knelt down and took his hands. He instantly felt calm and safe.

“Yes, Castiel, I was there when you tried to take your life and I was very happy to see that you didn’t succeed. You’ve made so much of the time you had been given, you even found love again. I just wish you had loved yourself a little more, because you, Castiel Novak, deserve to be loved.”

Cas felt too weak to answer, the pain had receded to a dull throbbing and he barely noticed the cold drops of rain anymore. His thoughts went one more time to Dean and he wished he had given their relationship a better chance.

“I’m sorry Castiel, but your time is almost up. Close your eyes, I will take you to a place without hurt and regret. Come with me, I’ll hold your hands on the way, you are not alone.”

Tears streamed down Cas’s face freely. He wasn’t ready to go yet, there was still so much he wanted to do, relationships he wanted to experience differently. Dean.

That was his last thought, the last impact of his life before Misha curled his wings protectively around him and the world drifted away.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was no pain and he could breath, fill his lungs with fresh air. The smell of death and kerosene nothing but a distant memory, he floated in a soft, warm cocoon. At first there was no noise but the beating of his own heart, strong and steady, and it lulled him back to sleep again.

Slowly he became more aware of his surroundings. He could wiggle his toes and fingers and sometimes, he could even see something, just short glimpses of white and green. Green like the eyes of Dean. Dean, that was a happy thought, but he was oh so very tired, so he drifted back to sleep.

There was a touch to his face, gentle fingers stroking over his cheekbones. The same fingers intertwining with his. It was still so hard to open his eyes, but he could hear now clearly. The rhythmic beeping of a machine and the voice, Dean’s voice talking to him, telling him how he almost lost him for good and that he was here with him and would never leave again.

Cas didn’t know how much time had passed, but he could now keep his eyes open and move his lips. Dean had kept his promise, he was still with him, holding his hands.

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand back and smiled. He managed to speak one word, the most important word to him.

“Stay.”

And Dean understood.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [CopaceticBrainBox](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CopaceticBrainBox/pseuds/CopaceticBrainBox) for being my friend, cheerleader and beta extraordinaire.
> 
> This work belongs to the [spn-originality-big-bang](http://spn-originality-big-bang.tumblr.com/) and of course to SPN Coldest Hits.
> 
> Prompts/tags/pairings: biting, Cas/Misha, Anna/Michael, WD 40 as lube, the whole Beesus thing where person A tries to convert everybody (the whole brilliant doth pollinate part wasn't mine) and person B thinks they are lunatic, dismembered limbs, Dean loves pie, Castiel's azure blue eyes
> 
> The Cadbury cream eggs are a shout out to [rabidbinbadger](http://archiveofourown.org/users/rabidbinbadger/pseuds/rabidbinbadger). Don't Rick-roll your elder!
> 
> This was partly inspired by this episode of Mayday- Air Disaster Investigation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPnrmYkSfdk&index=11&list=PLIQysra_ezMZh3cNGeBAnxKNrtsAuzMwW
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, you are the most beautiful readers ever <3
> 
> Oh, and please visit me on [tumblr](http://reaperlove77.tumblr.com/>tumblr</a>%20and%20talk%20to%20me.).


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